Margaret Cheasebro

When people are sick or experience an emotional upheaval, they often have a hard time staying grounded. Instead of feeling connected to the good old terra firma, they seem to be floating off somewhere. Talk to them, and they're a little flighty and unattached. Their mind wanders, making them unfocused.

How do you help someone like that? If they can walk, take them outside and sit with them near a tree. Trees are so attached to the Earth with their roots that their groundedness can have a positive affect on whoever feels a little flighty, unfocused, or unattached.

If they are too sick to go outside, buy a potted plant, something rooted in soil. Put that plant in their hospital room or bedroom where they can easily see it as they lie in bed. They may get a sense of rootedness from the plant. It could help them feel more grounded.

Talk with them about ways to feel more grounded. Have them imagine they are lying on green grass and feeling the firmness of the Earth through their bodies. Or imagine they are on a beach half buried in pleasantly warm sand. That feeling of being attached to the Earth helps people feel more connected to their own life in this present moment. It can help them heal faster and feel more enthusiastic about wanting to get well.

If they can't get outside and plants are not allowed inside, play a game with them. Each of you imagine a tree you have seen that made an impression on you. Take turns describing the tree you remember, what its bark looked like, how its roots grew into the soil, how you felt when you were near it. Whoever isn't doing the remembering should listen carefully. Just remembering the tree can help a person feel more grounded. And just being listened to can make them feel more whole.

A juniper tree in my front yard has an interesting shape. Its main trunk died sometime before I bought the property. I had the trunk cut down to a stump. The tree remains alive, because two large branches grow out of one side of the stump. Those branches thrive. They stand tall, as though they are another tree.

A couple of years ago, the tree branches started looking sick. Some of their needles turned brown. I couldn't figure out why, because they got plenty of water. I hosed water all around the base of the stump, especially on the side that supported the two branches. In spite of getting that water, the branches didn't improve.

One day I decided to pour water into the hole in the center of the stump. That stump guzzled the water. No matter how much water I poured into that hole, it wanted more. Eventually, water reached the top of the stump hole and began to spill over. Its thirst had finally been quenched.

After watering the juniper that way for a few days, the branches began to look healthier. The needles grew green again. The tree began to thrive. Ever since then, I have watered that tree through the hole in the middle of its stump. The tree continues to thrive!

That experience with the juniper made me wonder how often we think we are nurturing ourselves when maybe we're not. Are we giving ourselves what we really need, or are we missing what will help us thrive? Whatever that missing thing is, when we find it and provide ourselves with more of it, we start feeling better. Fun, adventure and delight return to us.

What does it take to find that special thing that will return enthusiasm to us? I suspect it will be unique for each of us. To find it, pay attention to what you long for. It could be something quite simple, or it might be more complex.

The key is to pay attention to how you feel, what you wish for, what you miss. When you find whatever that hole in the stump is for you, give it more of whatever it is you've been wishing for, needing, or wanting. Do it consistently, and you may find yourself thriving just like my juniper tree.